Saturday, May 12, 2007

How are you?

Dear Baby Che Che,

I was in shock last night, when I heard of the news.
I re-read and re-read the sms that Jing sent me, looking for a hint that it was just a very bad joke.

You have been the prettiest cousin that I know of.
In fact, I used to look up to you and idolised you.
I want to be as beautiful as Baby Che Che, I told myself.

Mommy told me that you used to sayang me the most, that you were always carrying me around grand-aunt's house.
I don't really remember those parts, but I remembered sitting on your lap while watching your mommy and my mommy playing mahjong.
I remembered sleeping over at your house at few times, and I have always insisted to sleep with you on your bed.

There was once, I drank bad Vitagen, and I was sick the whole night, and you took care of me. I threw up over my clothes, and you lent me your shirt for the night.
I swimmed in your shirt, but I was so proud, 'cause I felt like an adult, wearing a teenager's clothes.

Then you met your sweetheart, and I have always envied what a good-looking couple you two made. When I see him fawning over you, and the adoring look in his eyes when he looked at you, I told myself, someday, I want a guy like that too.

Then both of you got married, and again, you were easily the most breathtaking bride amongst all the brides in the weddings I have been to.
Not long after that, your baby boy came along, and I finally understood the power of good genes. Your good looks coupled with your husband's, made him captured the hearts of all.

I never really saw you after that, mommy stopped playing mahjong with grand-aunt, and you were always with your husband's family when we go visiting during Chinese new year.

The last time I saw you, you were supposedly pregnant with another baby, but you barely had a bump!
I remembered gossiping with Jing about how good and svelte you looked, despite the fact that you have snipped off your long locks into a stylish tomboy cut, you have a kid, and you work full-time.
We want to be like her! I remember we chimed.

I never really knew got to know you, what with the 14 year old gap between us, and the fact that I was barely 5 years old when you played with me.

But that doesn't change the fact that I was stunned and crushed when I knew.

My heart breaks when I think of how your husband must be feeling now. I clearly remembered the tender glance he used to give you.
And what about your two young children? Your gentle, cheerful son, and your 1 year-old daughter.
What about grand-aunt? She just recovered from cancer; I could not even bear to imagine her sense of loss.
What about your siblings? I could not bring myself to think of living without my sisters and my brother.

I just could not fathom how this all happen. A dull ache still exists in me when I think of it.
I don't know how to handle death.

Baby Che Che, I am sorry that I can't attend the services, but my thoughts are with you.
Angels will look upon you, for you were a beautiful person, both inside and out. I do not know the workings of god, but I pray with all my might that your family has the strength and courage to go on, and that you're in a better place now.

Rest in peace, with the deepest condolences from me and my family.

With love,
hui wen


Anonymous said...

Hey Dear...I'm really sorry for your loss. Believe me I know how shocking it is, to lose a cousin so suddenly and unexpectedly. Hope you're ok *hugs*

jmeei said...

HUGS nobody knows how to deal with death.

I've been through this and all I can say is that it takes time. Time WILL heal everything

Just don't forget her, keep her memories alive

tze said...

omg.. what happened! how did she die! damn pitiful right the children so young! T___________T

r u okay T___________T

S h e r v e said...

: (

Anonymous said...

I'm really sorry to hear that :( My prayers and thoughts are with you. *hugs* be strong.

Anonymous said...

hui wen, i'm sorry for your loss.
take care ok? my deepest condolences to you and your family

mustardqueen said...

Sis, I know it's a sad thing, nobody wanted that to happen. But she's not our cousin, she's our dad's cousin. But just hope she'll rest in peace k.? Cheer up! =)

revel in me said...

ran: Thanks dear. :)

jiameei: And hugs for you too, sweets. You have been most supportive and kind. :)

tze: It really pains me, 'cause her children are really young, and they are such lovable, innocent kids. I really feel so bad for the husband and the kids.

But thanks, dear, I am okay now. :)

sherve: *accepts hug* thanks! :)

anonymous: I will... Thank you for the kind thoughts. :)

huei jean: Thank you so much!

mustardqueen: Yea, I know, she's our second cousin... But it just SUCKS super big time. SIGHHHH