Saturday, September 20, 2008

Me... No more?

I am set to leave for the pool party anytime now, and my tummy is still protruding proudly as ever. Why didn't my efforts to flatten it do any good!!!

Oh, you mean praying doesn't count as efforts ar WTF.

My back-up plan was to buy a one-piece (it's an emergency what, I have a tummy!!), but my trustworthy swimsuit shop has closed down. T__T Is it 'cause I went to S'pore and the shop lost its source of income ar wtf.

So my solution is to wear a high waisted skirt with my bikini HAHAHAHAHA.


I have to get this off my chest.
There is something bothering me.

Yesterday, amongst playful banter with my colleagues, my senior told me that she can't wait to see me in 6 months' time.

I returned her a quizzical "???" look.

She replied me that she wants to see how I will be like after my first peak period.

(Note: Contrary to what you might think, peak period is not an orgasm WTF. For auditors, it refers to the ultimate busy period of financial year-ends-- we are talking about working through nights and not seeing daylight for a few months T__T)

I raised my eyebrow.

She proceeded to explained that she she has a friend who was like me-- quoting her, "very cute (haha, I swear to god, she said this), always laughing and smiling, very bubbly and happy".
She said: "But after she went through a peak period, she was never the same person anymore! She is now very quiet and solemn. Very serious. Not like last time."




Worst still, during lunch, they brought up this matter again, and everyone agreed that I will turn out different. -_-
And they are now taking bets on how long it will take to "un-happy-sise" me. -__________-

With my colleagues, I was going "eyeeerrrr why you all so bad to me", but inside, I am quivering with terror. I don't know what to do if, well, I am not myself anymore!!

I am so scared now! What if in 6 months' time (peak period will be start sometime in Jan and end in June for me) I never smile again and start using black nail polish wtf.

Ok I know I seem to be making it a big joke, but really, I am very very worried now. :( Is it childish to be worried. :( It's like foreseeing that you will lose your soul in the near future, but you're still taking big strides to meet doom's end.

What am I doing to myself...?

I always joke about how my biggest fear is to lose my hair, lose my youth (wtf), lose money etc, but I guess now I know. I am most afraid to lose myself.


Anonymous said...

lol. u r so funny.
im js a reader of your blog. i saw u in f21 in kl few months ago. ur skin is so fair!! so pretty.

and i love your outfit posts. :)

Natasha Lim said...

babe noooooo pls dont unhappy-sise yourself :(

Joshua said...

Work/school DOES totally kill you sometimes.

On my 20th birthday last Tuesday, I was in school THE WHOLE F*ing TIME. I only got to have dinner with Jing and the rest of them for a few hours, then I went back from:

11pm to 8am the next morning, WTF

Just to complete a group assignment in time for printing.

This is just ONE of many many similar stay-in-school incidents since I started architecture, my peak was 7 Eleven food every meal, 4 hours of sleep, 2 full weeks.

Life is like that sometimes, but I don't think anything can really change who you are as a person, unless it's a really dramatic, emotional event.

Don't worry too much, you'll brush this off when you get through it.

Anonymous said...

Having happy ppl in your life, helps. Trust me. So obviously, you've got nothing to worry about. :)

Anyway, i really don't think it's even possible in your case. Please la, most of your posts that are labeled emo, aren't even really emo. You're hillarious even when you're "emo"!!

Absolutely worry about.

yishyene said...

Those people are just jealous or envious of your positive outlook on everything. You'll be FINE! Stay optimistic! Work is only one of the MANY things you have in your life.. don't let it consume you.

Anonymous said...

if you're generally a very positive minded person, i dont see how being busy or stressed will change you. after all, work is work is work. just do it properly and nothing will go wrong, no? as long as you've prepared yourself to face the peak period i don't think you'll be so shocked and stunned as to turn into a completely different person. :)

revel in me said...

anonymous: Why didn't you come say hi! T__T And haha, fair? The most I can say for myself is chocolate brown wtf. T__T Thank you, sweets, and next time must say hi k! :P

natasha lim: I am not doing it on purpose! :( But I am scared of what work will do to me! :'(

joshua: OH NOOOO that is a tragic story!!! I can't imagine it, 11pm-8am?? 4 hours of sleep?? 7-11 FOOD??? You are so strong. T_T Haha,I do wonder whether I am being a drama queen in this case, but it's really hard to not worry about it when every single one of my colleagues (some of them are quite fun-loving) tell me the same thing. I can't help but think, they should know best right, since they have been thorogh it. :( But haha. your story has given me strength wtf. 'Cause if you can go through hell and still like pleather, I think I am going to turn out alright, HAHAHA! :D

anonymous: YAYAYA I agree with you, happy people are the BEST! :D :D :D But... I don't know, everyone in my life seemed to be stressed about something or another. So I don't know how also. T_T And HAHAHHA why you so bad, ridicule my emo-ness!! :P But thank you so so much for the sweet words, I believe them! :)

y: HAHAHHA nola, I don't think they are jealous la!!! But you're so sweet, why you believe in me so much <3 And you noticed something, this is the first comment from you which made no mention of carrots, HAHA!

foongjin: I am not sure there is anything I can prepare for the peak period except for metal preparation, I guess? The learning curve is just so steep in what I am doing. :( I have to admit, there are some days where I feel inadequate. :(

Rileen Aya said...

frankly speaking i think you'll be a different person next june. maybe not that emo quiet person your colleagues described but definitely someone different. because as much as we try to prevent it, things will happen and somewhat change us for the worst. but in your case, it might just be another route to finding happiness from a different light. :)

you'll do fine. embrace the change :]

The Faux Fashionista said...

Change is good, but I hate when people try to predict what kind of person I will become. Its like they're dictating who I should be, when the only person who has control over it is myself. Surround yourself with happy people love, it helps ward off negative energy ;)

Anonymous said...

It largely depends on the person isn't it?
Like,you're so sure of yourself and who you are,and you're clearly very afraid to lose that identity.Therefore you will put in as much as you can to not lose it,no matter how many accounts you have to audit.haha.
For your colleague's friend,perhaps she just felt it was for the better to give up on who she was and the new personality would do her more good.
which is what you definitely won't be doing,eh? ;)

That said,you simply must post pics of you at the pool party.
Not 'cos I'm a perv want to see bikini pics la wtf,but 'cos I cannot imagine someone wearing bikini top with high waist skirt.HAHA. :p

Anonymous said...

i think you're so friendly, you take the time to reply comments. you wont lose yourself. i've been reading your blog for so long already, and you've managed to overcome all odds.
you're one strong lady.

your an inspiration to me, honestly.
(personality wise and fashion wise!)

Anonymous said...

Honestly, i think ive changed a little bcos of uni. Ive become very bitter and angry for all the shit im put thru and i get agitated easily especially during those peak periods. My mom sees this in me and she always advises me...dont take things too seriously which i think i do. Go with the flow, take things slowly one at a time. If there's alot of shit going on, just try your best to tackle them one by one. Don't go amok like me when somethg doesnt turn out rite. Doesnt help. Dont be a perfectionist. Theres always another way to get around thgs if they dont turn out the way u intended. And stop worrying, wears us out more. Just take it easy. Sometimes a little tidak-apa attitude helps also, haha.

Most importantly, surround yourself with happy positive ppl. Like my friends, they are more tidak-apa than i am. They can still go out have fun and laugh during exam season i sometimes think they're crazy. But it helps me relax a little, y'know. And remember to reward yourself as much as u can for your hard work. Tell yourself, after this long week u'd treat yourself to a good expensive meal or go for a spa treatment or get that expensive pair of shoes u'd been eyeing for. At least u have somethg to look forward to and motivate u. Find ways to more! xD

I see this weakness in me and im trying my best to overcome it bcos im really not a very nice person when im worked up. I sure hope your work wont affect u cos u are so likeable u know, haha. I enjoy reading your blog so much. Just do your best whatever it is and im sure it'll all be fine. =)

Oh shit i think i just wrote an essay...hahaha!

Anonymous said...

(the anon who ridiculed your emo-ness)

I actually wanted to tell you how I laughed like crazy at all your emo posts. But that sounds really mean right hahahaha. So i had to rephrase.. I rephrased already okay, why do u still say i'm bad!! *emo wtf

But i really did laughed like crazy at all your emo-ness. :O

Anonymous said...

Hmm.It is just a phase.You will get over it.
MOve on to happier things!Where are the pictures of yr room and maybe recent buys???????????
=D =D =D

Anonymous said...


at first right when i started work, i also worried that i had changed and become a not-happy person wtf. because i was a lot quieter than usual and couldn't think of many jokes to crack WTF.

but now i am totally back to normal screaming at the top of my lungs wtf. i think i was only like that cos it was a new environment and i started among a group of ppl who were already very close! so i felt a bit left out just cos i was new and also i was concentrating on not making mistakes at work:(

so don't worry love! im sure you'll make it through fine:)))

Vivien said...

shopaholic MUG!!!!!! :D :D :D :D
if you hold on to your roots and follow your heart, you'll always be who you were meant to be. (;

revel in me said...

rileen: Haha, you're so deep! <3 I am not scared of change, but if it's going to change me into a sombre, sullen person, then I'm afraid I can't just embrace it.

faux fashionista: YAYAYA I really hate it when people try to forecast how I will become! Especially since I am quite a, em, strong-willed person, haha. Not to mention proud. -_-

x: Do I seem like I am very sure of who I am! <3 Actually I am less afraid now, 'cause I think my bf is right, I might be quiet and serious during peak period 'cause of the stress and pressure, but once peak period, I should be back to my normal happy self! I am not losing myself, just that I might act differently for a short while due to external factors. :) And HAHHAHAH worse still, I wore a high waisted pinafore with my bikini!! :P

anonymous: WOW. Dear, I honestly don't know what to say, that's a really sweet thing to say! :))))) Saying that I am an inspiration is really really sweet!! But I am not deserving la.. *blushes furiously* But THANK YOUUUUU!!! <333 If there's anything that can make me more even more sure of my self is comments like yours. :))))

gwen: Haha, you wrote so long, t must be a subject you feel very strongly about! :P I honestly do feel that I am quite ok with handling stress, simply 'cause I can be super 'lalala' and I guess I am a relatively optimistic person. That said, I am a super perfectionist (like you), and there's where I get all stressed out!!! So all in all, I am just this super contradicting person, haha. I will usually go through this initial phase of stress and panic and get all ranty and moody... But once my adrenaline start pounding, I am all like YEAAA let's get ths bitch over with, and I am going to do it well!!! Hahaha.

anonymous: HAHHAHA YOU DAMN BAD LAAA!!! Are my emo problems that funny wtf. WHERE IS THE LOOOOVEEEE

nana: It's a phase called WORK. T___________________T
Haha, I can't post pics of my room yet, it's not done!! Damn messy. =/

aud: Oh yaya, when I started work also I was damn quiet!! Unbelievable right wtf. But now I am afraid I will be quiet permanently!!! 'Cause spirit got killed by work. T__T

penguins: Ayeeee! <333