Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Confession time.

Ok, so you guys might be wondering what the previous post was all about.
It's time for me to put an end to my self-denial, and just come clean with you all.

Yes, I have been feeling very, very low. And sad. And down. Emotional. Upset. Angry, even.

Y'see, I am suffering from an acne outbreak.

Now, before you write it off as me being very vain and fussy about a few zits on my face, I am talking about a full fledged acne attack. So many times I have flipped through articles about adult acne without so much of a bat of eyelid. Never would have thought I would end up as a victim.

My skin has started deteriorating early this year, due to stress, an unhealthy lifestyle (lack of sleep, lack of fruits and vegetables etc), and also 'cause I started incorporating very rich and moisturising products into my beauty regime-- 'cause I was so worried about how aging and stress would affect my skin. All these took a toll on my skin, and I started seeing tiny bumps on my skin. About 2 months ago, a friend introduced me to a product which was supposed to clear my skin. I started breaking out after using it, and innocently (stupid), I embraced the break-out, 'cause I thought breaking out would clear the impurities trapped underneath my skin.

And then the break-out became more rampant. They became angry monsters, taking over my face. Over the past month, my skin has became so bad that I don't even want to go out. I have became so self conscious, and all I really want to do is to put a paperbag over my head. I don't want to go to work. I don't want to see any of my friends. I don't want people to look at me with a gasp of horror, and ask me the much dreaded question, "What has happened to your skin???"

I went to a skin specialist on Monday, and he told me to go on Roaccutane. Roaccutane. Even the name sends a shiver down my spine. Not in a good way. I came home to do some research on the drug, and I got really scared. There are many literature on the drugs, and the list of side effects is endless. Still in denial, I ask my self, is it really so serious? Do I have to go on the drug?

I got even more depressed. My skin was A-OK last year. How has it suddenly come to this stage? Why me? Why now? Why this? The worst my skin has ever been was when I was 12, and puberty struck. And even then, it was nothing close to what I am going through now. Why do I have to feel ashamed when I meet people I know. Why do I have to try to use my hair to cover my cheeks. Why do I feel that everyone is giving my pitying looks. Why do I have to avoid mirrors. Why, why why.

Then yesterday, I talked to someone whom I least expected to suffer from acne before.She has taken Roaccutane before, and apparently she goes through acne outbreaks every year, but it's just something that you have to get a control on. She talked to me about the drug, told me about her experience in conquering acne. About ways to change my lifestyle, ways to change my mentality. And one thing she promised me, is that my skin will be better. And my inferiority complex now will be a thing in the past.

So I went to another doctor today for a second opinion. Similarly, he prescribed me the same drug.

So that's it, folks, as of today, I will be on Roaccutane. For approximately 3-4 months. Dry lips is something I will be expecting. Weight gain is a possibility. Great, just when I am on a diet. And get this, people, no contacts for as long as I am on the drug. Fuck man. I have birthday parties, Halloween, dinners, trips coming up, and I am supposed to be stuck in glasses. This may be worse than acne, omg. Mood swings are apparently on the books as well; sorry, boyfriend! :/)

How am I supposed to dress up in spectacles, I don't know. I may have to change my whole wardrobe. T__T And identity wtf. T___T

In case you are wondering how is my skin like now, here are some picture from yesterday. All the pictures are not photoshopped, and if you click and enlarge the pictures, you will be able to see my skin problem very clearly. :(

I think this picture best depicts my skin condition. Don't lie, it's really quite bad. :(

And mind you, this is with make-up on, without make up, my skin looks worse. :((((


Cut-off sleeves geek baby print tee: Singapore
Black origami pleat drape skirt: Isetan

Pearl and gold chain layer necklace: Diva

Black and cream maryjanes: Singapore

Bag: Marc Jacobs

Sorry for the lousy outfit picture. It was either that or this wtf.

I will be on the drug for approximately 4 months. Goodness knows what is in store for me in this period. But all I can tell myself is to be strong, and all this will pass. It's easier said than done though, 'cause I have never foreseen the psychological impact of a skin problem would be so severe. Some days when I am feeling really low, I ask myself, how can people love me when I don't even love myself now.


Anonymous said...

honestly is really bad.
is really really bad..i guess i can understand how u feel...

stop apply any makeup stuff for a while...

elaine said...

hey babe. i know how u feel. but hang on there. im sure the acne wil b gone. just eat more veg , less oily stuffs n meat. less toxic in body, skin wil get better.

cheer up!

randomgirl said...

i just think you must have had a really blessed life for this to be the lowest you have ever felt. it's understandable how looking good leads to feeling good but don't let it take over your life. you sound so sad, cheer up and appreciate all the good things in life :)

Sarah said...

I feel for you :( My occcasional zits aren't so bad but sometimes during that time of the month they can be quite annoying. I wonder why they appear when I am actually taking good care of my skin now. I used to not have a proper skincare regime before and my skin is the best it has ever been.

It takes time to heal but eventually it will =) Just dun wear too much make up and take good care of your skin.

Christian Girl in Harrods said...

Hey just wanna tell you that I went through that approx 3 months ago, and I still break out every week with one very very bad acne, I still feel inferior when I go out, and I know exactly how you feel...I think you are doing well, at least you are embracing it and looking for a solution to it.

Yep, agreed with the Sarah, wear lesser make up really helps, or try minerals foundation, at least it helped me.

I pray for good skin for both of us!! :)


smallswong said...

hey love,

roaccutane does wonders for people ! vanishes every single pimple ! just hang in there throught these 4 months. hit the gym more if you put on weight. stay in singapore if you begin to become more snappy ( hahah ) and knowing you, you'll be able to work those hot librarian glasses of yours well :)

and from someone who has seen you with those acne, you really stil are just as ravishing *hugs*

cowiemoo said...

Hey Hui Wen, don't feel so low. It's good that you are taking action to remedy those zits, I had to endured them for about 5 years before my mum finally took me to the dermatologist. Yes, I went on Roaccutane as well for about 6 months (I had very active nodules), not only do you gain some weight and super dry lips, your nose may bleed occasionally if it is very dry. Take plenty of fluids, ya?

Also, a little advise from my dermatologist which I truly believe in, please please please avoid CHOCOLATES and NUTS!! They're the causes of all those zits! People says that spicy food and deep-fried food causes zits, it's a myth!

Don't worry girl! Your skin problem will go away really really soon! :) But pls remember the ultimate side effect ya? *wink*

pj said...

hey hui wen, i've got a friend who's suffered much worse conditions than u after going for a facial in china. i'm not sure if she was prescribed the same drug as you, but the side effects esp the drying lips part was pretty bad for her. u really really really need to keep them moisturised like almost all the time! just hang in there! :)

Anonymous said...


it is not permanent, it's okay. hang in there.

:) love u!

Anonymous said...

i dont think it is that's not a trivial matter either but i've seen much worse.
and judging from your pictures,they arent that obvious when you have make up on.really, you still look good.

i always wonder why i still get the that-time-of-the-month breakouts when i am 20 already.
and they only happen at that same i have this area on my face that is a breakout zone.

well,i think everybody has problems with at least one thing about their face or body or skin. you ought to be grateful that yours can be fixed with medication!

Jing said...

Don't be a drama queen my love, i told you alrdy the paperbag trick wouldn't work WTF HAHAHAAHAHAH!!!

I still love you, good skin or bad! *big hugs* :D

Lisa! said...

Awww, feel better!

Well, if it makes it any better, I was on some weird drug for my acne years ago too!
You cant tell it now, but years ago I had the same problem as you.

Then I went to the skin specialist too, and he prescribed, cleansers and pills and creams.

The creamed burned like craaaaaaaazy! I sometimes cry because it stings.

But, all is well now.

Guess you just learn not to use random products anymore!

Feel better!

E.L said...

hi, just wanted to share my experience after taking roaccutane.
i had breakouts like yours when i was 17, and i know how you feel right now. had severe depression, i couldn't even bring myself to go out (except for school). roaccutane really helped me. the dry lips thing wasn't so bad(and this is from someone who has eczema as well, so that's amplifying the chapping/sloughing), just a bit of inconvenience, reapplying moisturizer to the corners of my mouth AND lip balm. for the 1st mth or so, your skin would actually look worse than it is now, but then when those sebum glands actually start to HYPOfunction, it'll look better.
however there's a chance of your skin having a recurrence of those breakouts, even after roaccutane, as mine did,6 yrs later. but not in the same severity as before. don't be too upset, i know how you feel.. but we all know acne isn't permanent, and yours should clear up in a matter of months. i'm actually going through the whole acne thing again, but this time, i'm not taking roaccutane(because it's pretty expensive!) and i'm not bothered as much. plus it has already began to clear up on its own(after 4 mths!).
maybe you shouldn't put on make up? coz it doesn't help with the healing process. seriously. even with the roaccutane, the foundation still clogs up pores.

about the side effects, i didn't have any except for the dry lips. i think my depression was already there before i went on roaccutane.

i read this not too long ago, was surprised to read(frm your post) tht malaysia wasn't one of the countries

don't worry too much, people love you for who you are, bubbly and fun!

E.L said...

the dermatologist also told me tht it's best not to squeeze(yes we all know tht but still do it!), and only to use a basic cleansing regime 2x a day- only a cleanser and a moisturizer(an ULTRA light one).

toners are a no-no, the alcohol complicates everything.
according to her, the more products you put on your skin, the more you prevent it from naturally healing. and facials are a HUGE mistake, they aggravate the already damaged skin. i kind of got a huge lecture from her. hehe.

all the best!

Zoe said...

I know how you feel tho I never *touch wood* get such acne break-out, but I once had rashes-like, itchy and swollen face. Just happened like that. *poof* One day I woke up and I had that. And it happened when I was in the States and I'm sure you know how troublesome it is to even see a GP in the States (because I know it is the same in Australia) you have to make appointment, they expect you to know when you gonna see them when you gonna get sick etc. So I couldn't even see a dermatologist. The GP wouldn't refer me to one and just asked me to prescribe me a very mild facial soap and lotion.

During the whole recovering time, I was so upset. I felt that everyone was looking at me thinking why this Asian girl has such terrible skin. When I walked into class and to work on an experiment in lab with my partners, I felt that they were staring at my skin instead of really talking to me about the experiment. So I really know how that feels like.

But like you have said it yourself, this WILL pass! And then you'll be fine. And I think it could be a good experience, good as in you'll know what to do when you see the early symptoms. You'll be more careful.

Hope you feel better now!

Sara said...

I've had really bad acne back in Form 5 and people always told me to stop eating chocolates, wash my face more, change my skincare routine etcetc which doesn't help. They didn't need to say the obvious cause those things don't help. The fact is, till today, the actual cause for acne is not known, diet and environment are not solid causative factors as such.

Anyways, i didn't really care about what they said and was just happy self, acne or not. I am who I am, if you don't like what you see, then that's their problem, not mine.

I took Roacutane a couple years later, cause my mom heard about it, and that it was quite good. Went on it, it disappeared. The drug has a very high success rate, but it may come back :( which it did for me, sorta yearly. Lols but of course, not as bad. The thing is, you are in control of how you let it affect you :)

And specs may be a good change afterall, you can err shop for a new sassy looking pair!

jeanchristie said...

hey dear, think about all the parties u'll have during off peak in 4 months! *hugs*

my skin deteriorates during every peak and the make up (Even richer creams) makes my skin feels like its suffocating. best to give your skin a break every 2-3 weeks for a few days <3

Grace said...

poor thing you. I had a very similar outbreak 2 years ago and i was super down because everyone was commenting on it. tried everything and finally changed my cleanser to sebamed. and it works. :)

I have also heard dermedex is pretty good too. Perhaps u wanna try that before u try roaccutane?

ronsensical said...

You will still be gorgeous in specs! =)

*hugs from silent reader*

5Dollar said...

cheer up girl! pity to see you so down...i had acne breakout 2 yrs ago and now voila! clear skin with occasional pms zits will take some time but dun waste ur time feeling down k!

Anonymous said...

Hey babe...

You know what, I had the EXACT same thing earlier this year after i got back from hols.... it was one day perfect skin and the next day adult acne galore... i spent 3 weeks crying at home and then tried a ton of facial remedies that all didn't work.

i STRONGLY suggest that you try other forms of medication before you go on Roaccutane because the drug is seriously the LAST resort. there is the possibility of clearing it via anti biotics for the skin as well as dedicated facials and medicated acne cream (forgot the name but will go check for you it requires a prescription too but nowhere near as crazy as roaccutane).

Mine has still not completely gone - mostly congested chin pimples and left over scarring all over but the bumps have died down heaps... i totally feel you hun. I look at myself and feel repulsed... i still do every morning.... *hugs.

Anonymous said...

do no apply / use think make up, it just really not helping ur skin . look at the picture with ur make up i already worry for you..

try use less at the moment..

mustardqueen said...

i hate to see how people use this opportunity to further stab on ur wound. Hang on there che che :)

I'm also facing breakouts lor but everything will be fine, when I'm back u'll have lotsa love from me and it'll go away very soon.

Wearing glasses to halloween party? U can be a secretary or sexy librarian since u dress the sluttiest during halloween ( and usual days too wtf)

birthday parties? U can get glasses that u can hold onto and say ur audrey hepburn wtf atas-ness hehe

cheer up a little, do not underestimate the power of optimism, I'm sure there are much worst things that could happen instead of acne (like kena acid on the face T_T) And if ur feeling low again, just think that ur sister here is also suffering from acne attack T_T so ur not alone T_T

when no one loves u, u still have me, jing, brother, grandparents, parents, linda, BB, choppy and chor min. paint the face. suck in your gut. but in the dark, stripped down to your bones, all that remains is you. because the person we love is YOU, not ur skin.

c said...

actually i think your skin still looks great, very evenly toned and no scars. your nose is very clear, a huge problem area for a lot of people.

LavenderFloret said...


I'm sure it will be fine, with the drugs and some changes in your lifestyle and such

I'm having more breakouts than usual these days as well, with more on my chest and back than there ever was and I cannot really find out the reason, at least not yet.

It's also worrying me to no end and I hope it doesn't go into something worse than this, I guess I'll just have to watch my skin and lifestyle more

The bf suffered from very serious acne for much of his teenage life. He was unlucky in the sense that he didn't see the dermatologist as quickly as you did, so he ended up with angry red scars and very bumpy skin

He tried going for facials and it helped cleared it all up but then he got stressed again during internship then it came back

Finally early this year he went to a dermatologist who prescribed him a drug but I'm not sure if it's Roaccutane but he's much better now, although he still has breakouts like normal people do

So yes, hang on and it will be fine. Makeup only when necessary then, and work those glasses, I'm sure you can ^^

Anonymous said...

Just a little experience with Roacc. I took my lil brother (16 years old) to see a dermatologist called Dr Ruban Nathan (works both in Sunway and Damansara) in regards to his acne problem.

He was put on antibiotic and roacc at the same time. The pimples cleared up almost immediately (2 weeks) into the treatment and he was supposed to go on it for 12 months. So we bought 12 months prescription. Wrong idea! We had no choice cause he was going back to Aussie for his studies therefore itis much easier and cheaper to buy the drugs.

6 months into it, he suffered from depression which was kind of weird but i know that this is also one of the side effects of it. Therefore, me being his Dr.Quack told him to stop his medication immediately. I dont want him to be depress! (now he is left with 6 more months of drugs =_=)

He constantly had bloody nose and thankfully he did not gain any weight from the drugs. But he had very very dry lips.

As for us ladies, i think we will just be dry everywhere.

jjing said...

hi hui wen,

I've bad break out yrs ago. I totally understand your situation and I mean it. I tried to drink a lot of water, increase my daily fruits/vege intake, rest more, but the acnes just don't want to go away. I went to the doctor in the end. He precribed the same drug to me. I was scare. Becuz I know bout this drug. I had a friend with even worse breakout. I thought it's only meant for that kind of condition you see. And after researching for the side effects, I've decided not to go on the drug. I'm worry bout the effects it might have on my babies in the future. And so, I went to beautician for help. My acnes became better, but with a lot of holes left on my face. I became even self-conscious. Even until now. Stimes I wonder if I've made the wrong decision yrs ago, that I'ld take the Roaccutane and I'ld have perfect skin. I'ld love to have flawless skin, but with or without it. Our love ones will love us the same way they do. Right? Cheer up.

p/s: I went to both hospital and clinic for help last time. The doctors from the hospitals usually prescribe antibiotics to their patients first. If the result not as good, only will they prescribe Roaccutane. Whereas the doctor from the clinics will straight away prescribe Roaccutane.

LaugHinG piLLzzz said...

hey hui wen,

I've been a fan of your blog for a long time and your outfits are always amazing and inspiring!

I've had bad skin since I was 12 but I started Roaccutane last Sept and the results were/are amazing! I was on it for approx 4 months and the effects continued even after stopping it in Jan. I work in a pharmacy and I always recommend that you should preempt the side effects and use regular soap substitutes and moisturisers. Not sure about M'sia but in australia I'd recommend either cetaphil or QV cos' its really gentle. You should also try paw paw ointment for your lips! Its the best! And avoid the sun and waxing (I know the horror!).
If you use regular eye drops you shouldn't have a problem with your contacts as well.
I had mine on throughout the treatment.

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

hey deary,
i love ur blog and that ur so real. i've had acne heeeeaps worse a few years back, went to various doctors and tried various medications, then finally got recommened to a derm (in aus) and he put me on roaccutane with 3 microdermabrasion sessions. must have been the best thing i have ever done. i have only one tiny scar from my acne, all the rest vanished! i even got skin compliments after it! but now (4yrs later), i still get the occassional few breakouts, which i can easily contain by taking contraceptives and taking off the makeup.
keep up ur enthusiasm and humour, cos thats what people love about u.
=] and drink water till u pee like theres no tommorrow cos d med will dry u out.

little annie said...

tried cetaphil before babe?

xiang yun said...

Dear Hui Wen,

I know how you feel about people giving you sympathy looks and being all self-conscious around people because I felt like that before. I had loads of pimples on my face when I was in secondary and it only started healing just before I started college. Although it much more better now, as in no more massive breakouts, I am left with pimple scars on my cheeks. I used to question why some people are blessed with squeeky clean skin while I have pimples. But now, I've learnt that no matter how I look or how much acne/pimple/scars I have, I am still beautiful because I choose to believe that. Although this is not much help, but I hope you are feeling better after this. =] We all still love you and I know those around you still do too. Get well soon babe *big hug*

josze said...

i had super clear skin all the time and i sort of just take it for granted and used a lot of nonsense products thinking they wont hurt. and starting this yr i'm getting lots of small bumps and my skin is red and sensitive ALL THE TIME. it frustrates me! so i'd like to see how it goes with the drug and if it really helps. i wont tell u it's all fine because i understand how NOT FINE it is sigh. poor us.

fourfeetnine said...

so many comments to make you feel better!

honestly, i'm relieved cos i actually expected worse :)

go on roaccutane and just handle the side effects as they come! no contacts never mind nerdy glasses are hot anyway! and just go to the gym more it's only temporary anyway <3

Eunice said...

hope it gets better ..... :)
dun worry so much too ...

Yan Ping said...

totally understand how u had felt my dear... cos I been feeling about my size that I stopped camwhoring, stopped shopping... just totally gave up on myself.. building up self confidence is very important..and I believe the medicine will helps alot... cos I took some medicine a few years back and my skin condition improved tremendously..

so take care and brace on..wearing specs can be very pretty too..start investing on pretty specs ! :)

Adryna said...

omg im sorry about that. hope those will be gone permanently. are u prone to allergic to any food or seafood? my cousin has the same problem with you, but she has it a long2 time, and its kinda hard to solve around, but she goes to facial treatment. i hope ur face will be okay again. dont be sad or else the acne will grow by ur stress or depressment. *hugs*

Anonymous said...

hi, i've been reading your blog for slightly more than a year now. i find u a funny & pleasant read :) this is my first comment to u as u seem really upset and, as a woman myself, i know it sucks to feel beauty inferiority complexes.

just want to add additional 2 cents to all the comments here - i suppose u can also do some basic common sense regimes (hard as it may be but for long term goal) - keep hair out of face, go slow with the make up, if need be use skin coloured pimple concealers (i use averine), and try not to keep touching your face. u may feel its awful going out without make up, but u'd be surprise how much easier it helps your skin breath and relax. and in 2-3 days, u're bound to feel less conscious about it :)

i'm a daily make-up user as well especially when i go to work. i dont have perfect skin, but i practice the above just to balance it out.

hope this helps!

xx, miss sunshine

Anonymous said...

I know I don't quite know exactly what you're going through and I'm not going to pretend like I do but what I do know is that you have more guts than any other chick out there to post up pictures of it. I still want you to be happy and always keep your chin up no matter what the fuck happens. People will always love you, no matter how you look.

Anonymous said...

perhaps less makeup with help for the time being. your skin needs a detox too i guess. i'm not going to pretend its not hard to have bad skin but hey have can only get better =)

Anonymous said...

may i recommend you using organic cleanser? my friend used to have very bad acne problem and now her face is flawless after using organic soap. she has never turned back ever since. initially i didn't believe her as she doesn't look like someone who has skin problem.

Anonymous said...

4 months to bear without contacts and a possibility of putting on weight?! maybe you should think twice about it,sounds like this drug may have side effects. but girls being girls, we hate acne! why dont you try going to this clinic - Dr. Ting (Ting skin specialist) in KL? Its very near sungai wang. My whole family got our skin treated there and hes really REALLY amazing. plus, its not even that expensive! My skin cleared up within 3 weeks to a month. he prescribes his own medications. but the down side is that you have to wait REALLY REALLY long just so see him, so make sure to go as early as you can.
Hope this helps :) Hope your skin gets better =)

anhanafiah said...

You really need to stop piling on the makeup onto your face. It's really not gonna help your skin condition :(

mustardqueen said...

EH YAH I heard Cetaphil works try to ask daddy to get for u le he can get for free! If u want the pawpaw lip balm i can get for u, one jar enough anot wtf

Sue Lin said...

I commented in ur last post before reading this one. I thought u were depressed about studying for CPA.

During my study leave i found that my skin condition is worse, lots of bumps too.

Drink loads of water k? Hugs, u'll be alright! =)

Anonymous said...

Hi there, before you get on drugs, do consider dermedex (or was it dermadex?),it's pretty good it clears your skin up. I'm in the same boat, having gone through the pains of having bad skin. It's tough,you feel like you don't look as good in any outfit and you feel discouraged taking pictures with friends -i've been there. You should give that a try -best part of all, you dont have to ingest it & there's no side-effect :) it worked better than cetaphil & all for me though. Or try differin too :) Don't worry, it's not permanent :)

Anonymous said...

hey hun, i know exactly what you're going through! my skin was like that a few months ago. it still is quite bad, but it's more red red red skin and one or two bumps now :l

the mirror comment i could defs relate with. at work, i have to pass a big mirror everytime i go check the changing rooms for clothes. and each time, i'll close mmy eyes. because i dont want to see myself.

i'm on the estelle birth control pill at the moment, been on it for nearly 4 months. the results are slow, skin is SLIGHTLY better. it'll get better, but during the time of month, it will get worse again.


also try benzoyl peroxide maybe? it dries up the pimples. only problem is, they only work for the first week and then they stop working. and they dry up your skin massively.

i never leave the house without concealor. sometimes i turn down party invites cos i feel ugly. i refuse to go swimming. or to the beach. (this is summer in perth now though :l)

my boyfriend wants to take me to the pool. but i told him that i hated swimming and couldnt swim and didnt want to go wtf. truth is, the water will wash away my make up and that would be the worst thing ever.

stay strong. u're gorgeous and funny and fashionable and witty and smart, dont let this get you down!!!! :)

Joanne said...

Hi Hui Wen,

I really really hope that you finish reading all these comments including mine. Bcos instead of going on drugs, actually you can go to a beauty saloon or dermatology clinic which offers treatment like IPL (Impulse Light) Treatment.

I wont leave a comment here without knowing anything about it. In fact, my sister suffered from a very bad break out a year ago and before she went on drugs, my mum brought her to a beauty saloon which offered that treatment. The beautician slowly cleared up her zitz and then performed IPL on her. And within months, her skin became clearer. Though there were some scars, that was considered insignificant as compared to what she had.

If you consult a dermatologist, they would definitely not recommend you to go to a beauty saloon. But which ever way that works is actually worth trying right?

Besides, I heard that once you are put on the drug, you will be pretty dependent on it. SO (TOUCH WOOD) if the same situation happens again, you will still need to go back to it.

SO maybe dont start first. It's known as DRUGS for an apparent reason right?

I hope this really really HELPS my dear. ANd cheer up. Cos apart from your friends and your family, a lot of people like your blog readers still care about you =)

S h e r v e said...

I have been on roaccutane since form 4 and am still on it!!
Yes, it is addictive. You get addicted to the side effects.
However, I wouldn't say you gain weight from it. You can still wear contacts, just for shorter periods. At least I still do! :p

Oh yeah, my hair is much drier that it used to be as well. Then again, that might have been from subjecting it to too many chemicals and straightening/ curling irons! :p

Hope you feel better soon!

All my love,

Anonymous said...

okay so i went home and checked and the name of the medicated acne cream is epiduo... it worked rather well for me and if your sis is in melbourne, she can go to a doc and ask for the prescription and send it home to you... or maybe they have it in singapore or msia too? not sure... all well be better in no time babe... don't be too upset... and fuck the clean skin regime... if i had to leave the house without concealing my acne i'd die... just be prudent... will be better in no time!


Anonymous said...

I always liked your look. Very kind look you have. And seriously, having zits doesn't stop you from still looking that way. But I so get what you mean, I suffer from zits since I was like 13 and I never had good skin all my life. I still don't! But its getting better.I say they key is not too let it take over your life. There were times I hated myself too, I envied girls who just looked flawless.
But zits... they will go. just treat them with TLC. I suspect the overmoisturing aggrevated your skin. too little and too much moisture can cause your skin to break out. About the roaccutane drug,my personal view on that is.. take when its really necessary. Its pretty harmful. And if you can settle the problem with antibiotics and a good skin care regime. do it! hope it all goes well. waiting for the good mews.

haz said...

stop using makeup.... and clean yr makeup brushes

Grace said...

Hm..i don't thnik i'll go on roaccutane. cos it can cause serious birth defects if you're pregnant. I know you're not going to get pregnant anytime soon, but better to be safe than sorry right, who knows how long the drugs will last in your body if you're over dependent on it.

Just my two cents :)

KITMEY said...

Cheer up, love.
Zits are temporary, you'll always have to tell yourself that. It may look bad, but honestly it is not that bad!

Im using Differin Cream and on antibiotics (Doxycycline) now, works wonders for me!!!

And if you ever need a third opinion, Dr Ting from Imbi or National Skin Centre, Singapore is a must-go!

Much love,

Anonymous said...

i can empathise with how u feel.i've always felt inferior due to my weight (as i 'inadvertently' gained 15kg after going to the UK for my tertiary education several years ago). i came back and did not repent but instead ate more thereby resultling in the additional pounds gained in the UK being stagnated, and was exacerbated by me not having the time to lead a healthy lifestyle or go on any form of meaningful diet/weight loss plan. Earlier this year, i finally garnered enough motivation to force myself on a very rigid diet and had successfully lost all of teh weight gained and even more. Just when i was rejoicing for my new found (slimmer and prettier) self...nightmare began as i found out that i was losing alot of hair...think almost 50% as of todate..... when the hair loss began and for the past few months, i REFUSED to go out to meet ppl (shutting myself off from every friend who invited me out), felt even more inferior than when i weighed 65kg, avoided all mirrors and refused to take pictures to save myself the agony of having to look at pictures with my thinning hairline and bald hints glaring at me from the pcitures...that was the lowest point in my life....i was SO disturbed i couldnt focus on my work properly and i felt like i was worthless... then i went to do some research online to discover that my hair loss was reversible but would take alot of time to do so and i'd have to go back on a healthier diet (which made me gain back some weight since i started eating more)....and went to some hair care centre with the hope of reversing the situation as soon as possible as i've got so many functions/events coming up especially now that itz close to year end. Only tehn i knew that the damage done was really severe that i'll need quite some time to recover but at least, my hair is starting to grow back although they're really thin right now....

anyway, all the best in your route to recovery!!!! i believe that ur skin will be A-ok again in due course..

Jo said...

I have adult eczema at the age of 26. It was all over my body including my face. Couldn't go to work for three weeks. I did some research and found out that my body is actually full of toxic. So i change my lifestyle and use only mild skincare products. Anything with fragrance is a big no-no for me. I use mineral make-up only. for the body lotion, i use aqueous cream. (It's like Rosken but way cheaper)

But don't worry, you still look beautiful to me. :-)

jeanchristie said...

yup QV is great! my nephew who has eczema started using it since he was about 3 years old (he's 7 now) =)

cheer up love

randomness said...

Hey don't be worried. It'll all go away. I've treated pys with Roaccutane before. Yeah, the side-efects are horrible but the results are excellent 95% of the time. You shld try simple skin regimes. Cleansing twice a day. and using very light-weight and water-based moisturisers. No make-up! it not only makes things worse, it hinders healing as well. I'm sure you'll look ok without make-up.

Acne causes very low self-esteem with most sufferers, so my advice to you is that you need to know that 1 in 10 ppl suffer fr very bad acne. It's esp more common in Msia as it's humid and hot. Here, in UK theres a very low threshold for acne and its optimally treated before it gets very bad. Roaccutane is the last resort that most dermatologists use cos they have no other weapon. Smiles. Another option is an OCP eg Dianette. Most girls here are treated with a combi of an OCP and Antibiotic first before moving to Roaccutane because of its side-effects.

All the best.

jaclyn said...

i still think you look gorgeous as ever, and you shouldn't let a bad bout of skin dampen you in any way cos you're one of the most beautiful people i know, inside and out.

cheer up, love! i'm sure in no time your skin will be as flawless as ever1 *hugs8

lissliss said...

trust me,

u look gorgeous as always!

Anonymous said...

To me, inner beauty > outer beauty...

But I know to you somtimes your outer beauty > your inner beauty (not saying that you don't want to be beautiful inside, far from it in fact, just saying it in the context of your post)...

But to me, i love you cos you are a beautiful person, and nothing will ever change that!

But beautiful person = inner beauty + outer beauty... So yes, i think you're gorgeous!! :) Don't be down about it anymore okay! :)

Ok i should really stop showing off the extent of my mathematical abilities (we both know u kick my ass big time when it comes to math!)...

As in one of the previous comments, i admire your guts in posting those pictures, and in admitting how you've felt. I've always admired u 1,000,000,000% percent, but that's just gone up ten-fold now! =)

Trust me, knowing you're down makes me sad too, it may seem like I don't care, but truth is sometimes I am being strong for you.. I don't want to breakdown or show any emotions cos then I don't want you to use it against yourself as evidence that even your loved ones think your skin is bad.!

In football they say form is temporary, but class is permanent... Just like ur skin! Your condition is temporary, but in the end your class will shine! heheh.. Ok fine, thats was a cheesy + silly analogy.. but you get the drift... =P

Trust me okay, all's not lost, your skin will be A-okay in no time! :)

Well now you've got so many ppl who've come out in support of you, but whilst it doesn't exactly solve the problem for you, it just shows how much everyone out there loves you, for who u are and not what your skin looks like (me included)!!

In the process you've got so many pointers, tips and your other readers' experiences, but I hope you don't go out gung ho and guns blazing and start trying everything anyone out there says alright (sorry ppl, i don't mean you guys are giving her lousy advice, just that everyone reacts to different treatments differently! =))...

If in doubt, check with daddy, and seek a 2nd, and if need be, a 3rd opinion!!

Cheer up alrite hun! We all know there can't be rainbows without rain, so let's weather this out together so that we can enjoy the view later alright!

Love ya lots!

p.s: Why does chor min's name appear after choppy and BB?? It wasn't meant to be in order of importance or value, right?? hahah..

mustardqueen said...

to last anonymous: chor min is at last cos he's like love of her life, i usually put most important things at the last.well at least for me, suspense ma wtf...

Anonymous said...

If you know your skin is breaking out,why are you still piling on make up like there is no tomorrow?

Seriously,STOP using make up at once. Using make up does not help the healing process, in fact it'll make it worse by the end of the day. I know how you feel,but always remember this - You may think your situation is bad,but always remember that there are others out there who are suffering in ways that you can never ever imagine.

And I agree,your life has been pretty easy through your 20+(?) years of life, you've been blessed with all the money,clothes, designer handbags,shoes etc. And to think that having acne is the lowest you've felt in your life? seriously? wow.. you must have been really lucky.

And yes maybe i'm bitter and harsh, but girl you seriously need to face the facts. ACNE- LEAST OF YOUR PROBLEMS.

Also,word of advice do NOT go on roaccutane, try using organic facial cleansers, drink tons and tons of water each day, change your pillow case every 2/3 days, avoid your using ESPECIALLY foundation concealers. Since you have the cash,why not try and go for facials? Go for murad facials or something

Just don't be so upset over such a small matter.. it's not worth it.

- Lisa Chee

Anonymous said...

"This very minute someone in the world died, got married, broke up with their boyfriend, got a job, lost a friend, met the love of their life, had a baby, and got rejected. You are not alone and there is a whole wide world out there to explore and experience. Live."

Quote from a wise man

Anonymous said...

Hey could you make an update regularly on life with Roaccutane cuz I've severe acne last for 2 yrs now and I didn't want to go on Roaccutane cuz I thought there's lots of side effect. I know how you feel. I got really depressed since my bf broke up with me and acne started to appear and got worst. Be strong and you are not alone.

Yue Huan said...

hi there. cheer up :( it sucks to have pimple outbreaks. hope it gets better soon! try not to use ur hair to cover ur face.. it would make it worse.
get well soon!

yan ping said...

oh ya i worked in national skin centre previously.. u can booked appt with Prof Goh ,Melvin Ee.. quite good docs and they do laser treatments as well.. :) i had outbreaks before my wedding but evemtually they cleared up in time for my big day.. thanks to the acne cream.. so u can try.. :) take care my dear..

Sasha said...

Dear,i've been using dermedex products for quite some time and they help clear up the zits a lot!
i think you can give it a try..just buy their challenge pack(consists of cleanser and refining cream) and see if they're suitable for you =) hope it helps!

cheer up and things would get better in no time! stay positive! ^.^

Anonymous said...

hye babe...dont worry...roaccutaine do wonders for me. I took roaccutaine for 6mths in last 5yrs. The acne stop from coming out. Yes, u need to drink loads and loads of liquids. u may suffer from nose bleed besides dry lips n skins on the face.

don't'll help u. or maybe u can try minocin for minor dose. roaccutaine is for severe acne.

good luck :)

Anonymous said...

At least you only got zits.
I've got zits and am chubby too.

Good luck, drink plenty of fluid.
Cheer up!

adz said...

hey babe!

yes i suffer acne breakouts frm time to time too! and the more i hv breakouts the more i slather on makeup n concealer to conceal!
and i totally understand it's hard not to wear make up n go out!! haha.

anyways, if you hv to put on make up, you can try using mineral make up coz it's alot more gentle on the skin and doesnt clog the pores as much. i use Elizabeth Arden's mineral powder foundation n it does WONDERS.

it gives pretty good coverage and i feel not only does it not harm my skin, it actually helps my skin become better! ofcourse the coverage is not as good as my usual armani liquid foundation, but it's good for the skin n great for everyday work use.
u can try it! :)

adz said...

oh and my skin doctor recommended Murad facial products to me and im still using them till today.

the blemish facial cleanser & moisturizer are AWESOME. you can try them out!

you can buy them frm if you dont know anywhere that stocks them :)


Kim said...

hi stumbled upon ur blog when searching about accutane...just started taking it today...wondering how it works for you? do u feel any side effects? pls reply me at later i couldn't get ur reply here...dunno should i continue taking it or not...i have other two "drugs" to take...

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