Sunday, November 22, 2009

'Cause times like this.

I am absolutely swarmed with worry now, drowning, barely swimming, barely threading, barely breathing.

I called the boyfriend just now, and he answered me with his sleepy voice. But there was something... wrong with the groggy voice. I heard the word 'sick' and some mumbling and the the word 'mum' and then a lot of noisy fumbling. I just stayed on the line, utterly confused. Not long after, the boyfriend's mom picked up the phone. What she told me came in a blur. He got a serious bout of food poisoning, and has been vomiting. He's so weak that he can't even talk. He's at the clinic now waiting for jab. She will get him to call me when he feels better. All I could say was "Oh... Ok... Oh.. Ok.." when I really wanted to bombard her. "Is he ok???" "What happened?" "What did he eat?" "Which clinic are you all at now" "Does he feel cold?"

"Does he need me?"

I didn't ask any of those questions. I just hung up. And I am on a standby now. Waiting. Waiting for a phone call to assure me that he is ok.

Hate this feeling. Kind of feel like doomsday is looming.. only it's the opposite? I am in doomsday now, waiting for some kind of comfort. I picked up a magazine, flipped through it absent-mindedly and dropped it down again. I clicked on the Desperate Housewife episode which I have diligently downloaded, but my mind can't concentrate. I want to talk to someone, anyone, to take my mind off, but no one is online at 10.30 on a Sunday night.

It is times like these that makes me just want to pack up my bags right now and leave. Back home, back where I belong. Not being able to be there when it matters is killing me. No amount of money is ever going to make up for this. I want out.

And I guess as the minutes of the digital clock on my mobile phone ticked away so silently, the only thing I can do is continue to wait....

12 comments:

Yan Ping said...

oh dear.. i hope ur bf is ok !! after the jab i think he will be lots better. It happens to my hubby before.. Know how u feel..he will be alright..he will be k..

*hugs*

Nana said...

I und yr feeling girl. Cheer up. Times like this you count on yr close girlfriends and siss. :) I am here to listen, although we dunno each other in real life. But I feel very connected to yuo in your post. I am going thru a bad time myself too, so I really totlly und yr feeling.

[ miss hazel ] said...

:(

take care love.
he will be fine.

<3

Jacqueline said...

dun worry he will be fine. hugs

jean` said...

i cannot tell u to relax, because i was worried sick when i couldn't reach my boyfriend some time back, especially when he was on his own in China.

but with his parents around him and the jab, he should get better soon :)

i guess it must be the peak getting to everyone. seems like everybody is wanting OUT.

xiang yun said...

Hope when you read all these comments your boyfriend will be much better.. and hope you will be too. Don't feel guilty for not being beside him when he needs you, be thankful that you are there for him no matter what.

Anonymous said...

oh no! really hope that your bf is ok now! ai yoo! the mom shouldn't have just left you hanging! poor you!

revel in me said...

yan ping: Thanks dear! He is much better now... T_T


nana: I am going through a bad patch in life now too.. Stay strong, both of us! :)


miss hazel: Thanks dear. *sniff*


jacqueline: Thank you! :)


jean: Not so much to do with the peak!


xiang yun: But I can't be there for him, and that's the truth! :(


anonymous: Nono, it's all my fault! I was so stunned and tongue-tied I could only go 'orhhh ok'. T__T

Lisa! said...

Awwwww! I do hope he feels better soon!.

Guess there is not much I can say to make you feel better, I am just another random blog reader. :(

But, I really do hope it all goes well.

*Hugs!

Anonymous said...

oh sorry about the misunderstanding. (i'm the anonynous at 1.47pm) really hope he is better already.

revel in me said...

Lisa!: Aww, don't say that! Thank you for your reassuring words! <3


anonymous: haha, don't worry! :) Yep, he's better now! :)

Anonymous said...

actually, has been reading ur blog for quite some time already. same time, am also going to spore to work (home in msia of course). um.. was just wondering, how are u able to cope being far (hehehe consider quite far since msia n spore is about 5hrs by car) from ur family n bf? :(