Saturday, September 18, 2010

Welcome home?

There is this memory... of my routine journeys back to Singapore.

I usually take the bus, the night bus to be exact. After 5 hours of delirious boredom, I will be nearing Johor Bahru. And through my sleepy-eyed slumber, suddenly there will be this jolt followed by a string of creaking sounds as the bus goes over this bumpy patch. It lasts about 1 minute or so. And I know what it means. It means I am about 10 minutes away from M'sian immigration. It means to me: Bye Malaysia, back to Singapore again. And my heart always does this funny lurch in my ribcage, like a small sign of protest. I will swallow the dread in my throat, and ignore the little voice in my head. "Back to reality".

It is a memory imprinted on my mind, so deep and profound that while I am travelling in cars and happen to go over bumpy areas, making that same creaking sound, I feel that sense of familiar.. rejection. Rejection of where I am, rejection of where I am heading to.

Fortunately (or unfortunately), I am a tough cookie. A tough cookie adapts herself to her environment. She strives, slogs and preservere. She makes it work. She doesn't give up. She tells herself that she has to keep to her promise to herself.

2 years.

And 2 years it is.
The timeline is over.

Here I am.

Kuala Lumpur, I hope you are ready to have me back for good.
'Cause that's where I am gonna be. ;)


Anonymous said...

oh yayyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!
WELCOME HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

HI BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

tze said...


Suet Li said...

sigh you write so beautifully wtf. anyway welcome home! but im not home wtf

Anonymous said...

2years already?omg.


jeanchristie said...


*puts on party hat* :D

being abroad showed me how true this phrase is: there's no place better than home <3

Christian Girl in Harrods said...

Welcome home!! :D

tans said...

can i say, i know exactly how you feel :)

i, too, was in the very same position.. worked in singapore for a year and a half, but spent almost every weekend commuting back between KL and singapore. friday evenings were the biggest bursts of joy for me, anticipating a super short-lived but amazing weekend back home, only to be greeted by the same feeling of dread and sorrow every sunday night as i'd board my flight or coach back to "reality" as i knew it then.

i decided to come back to KL earlier this year.. and although it was one of the most difficult decisions i've ever made (as i'm sure you totally understand), i look back now with absolutely no regrets :) of course there are the occasional bouts of wistfulness and nostalgia every now and then.. but for the most part - seeing as you're someone who is probably as attached to home as i am - there really is no place quite like home. :)

all the best dear, looking forward to reading more of your posts as you make your transition back here :)

eva said...

it's funny how malayisans tend to come back after a while :)

can u share with us why u wanted to come back? isnt the quality of life better there. i'm contemplating of an offer from singapore actually

xiang yun said...

Your words are so beautiful and your words convey the feeling that is kinda familiar to me. Anyways, WELCOME back!! :D hope to bump into you in KL soon ahaha!=]

Foong Jin said...

Welcome back :)

ailing said...

huh?I've been following ur blogfor 2 yrs+???omg....and welcome home!!