Tuesday, June 29, 2010

"I vow to love you and you only for the rest of my life."

Right before our flight to Bangkok, we had some time to kill, so Jing and I headed to Oldtown Kopitiam at LCCT for her to grab a quick lunch, while my parents went to the premier lounge for AMEX cardholders.

While Jing was poring over the menu, a couple caught my eye from far away. Maybe 'cause the girl caught my eye, as she was quite attractive. However she was coupled with a (much) older man. They were walking very closely to each other, and though one might think they are a father-daughter duo (or maybe a husband-and-wife couple whereby the wife took really really really good care of herself), I got a weird feeling looking at them.

Halfway through our meal, the couple sat next to us. And when they are in such close proximity, their age gap becomes even more jarringly clear. The woman is probably my age, or slightly older, but she is definitely good looking, hot by some standards. The man's carefully dyed hair is peppered with silver strands, and I could see his wrinkles. 50-ish, I am guessing?

Their conversation was cautious, platonic, and.. new. Like two strangers who have just met, or newly made friends on their first get-together. "Is this your first time in KL?" "You usually come by SIA?" "This is the low cost airport" "Quite hot eh, today". Yet, he had his arms slung possessively around her. And their lips meet every now and then for a kiss on the lips. The verbal communication and the physical intimacy had such a huge disparity that it made me feel really uncomfortable. According to Jing, she heard the man telling the girl, "We be boyfriend girlfriend can, married cannot ok".

Stories of cheating husbands of my mom's friends and people around me scares me to death. Is there no such thing as a happily ever after? A soulmate for life? Someone that you commit yourself to, and no one else will ever do?

I was very disturbed for the rest of the day, as I thought of broken promises, unrequited love, repeated lies, and empty words. And I wondered to myself, how many heartbreaks is there ahead of me in my future.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

I am okay.

That's what I tell you, and you, and you, and you.

When am I anything but?


I hugged my knees as I sat on the floor, my trembling back leaning against my bed. I rocked forward and backwards, like a lost child, as it could hush the choked sobs, as if it could soothe my shivering body. As if it could make things better.

The awareness that I was truly alone squeezed me like a cold blanket. Perhaps any of these would have made it better: a parent's warm hug, a sister's reassuring squeeze, a friend's pick-me-up word of encouragement, a lover's caress... But I asked for none of those. Instead I rushed the tears, willing every drop of them to leak out as fast as they can. The flurry of activity outside means that my time alone is timed. It's almost time for me to go out and put on another brilliant performance.

And then and there I broke into a million pieces. Maybe one day I will put them back together. But now all I can do is to stare at the broken pieces,the hundreds of shiny splinters of me, as they looked up at me mockingly, mocking me of what I used to be, and what I never will be.


I am okay. Aren't I?


"I like to see people reunited, I like to see people run to each other, I like the kissing and the crying, I like the impatience, the stories that the mouth can't tell fast enough, the ears that aren't big enough, the eyes that can't take in all of the change, I like the hugging, the bringing together, the end of missing someone."

- Jonathan Safran Foer -

And one by one, they all come back. :)

Thursday, June 17, 2010

If my bank account has a voice...

... it would be screaming in pain now.

And if it has hands, it would be hurling punches at me WTF.

Reason being, I recently withdrew 8K SGD from my bank account.

*cricket sounds*

I mentioned sometime ago that I have a friend who is going to Europe, and since the Euro currency is so low now + designer goods are cheaper in Europe, I was scheming to ask him to get some things. To cut the story short, he is helping me AND my sisters get some designer stuff. Which is really shameless of them, since they have only met him once, haha. Anyway, I am lending some money to my sister as well as another one of my colleagues. I won't divulge how much of the pertains to my buys! Will post up pictures if he successfully gets me my stuff. :P

And Hoe Hui Jing, you better pay me back wtf.


I just watched my first world cup match! *loser* 'Cause everyone else has probably caught at least a match a day. Boo. But my cousin doesn't subscribe to the sports channel, and in Singapore there aren't really any mamaks, so you don't get the culture where people go yumcha and watch football.

For example, I watched the world cup at a wine place today. -_-

It felt really weird welding a pair of fork and knife and looking up every few seconds to catch the match. And sipping chilled white while you are at it. Most of my football experiences (not that there were many) was either at a mamak or at home in my PJs. So to say that this was a brand new experience is an understatement, haha.

Then WT kept on egging me to bet, haha. Even way before world cup started, he was telling me that he is 'going to make his first million'. Via betting. Or maybe as an illegal bookie. Haha.

And damn cute to watch boys bet la. My colleague suggested to go eat claypot rice today. And when we reached the restaurant, he suddenly slapped his forehead, going 'SOHAIII cannot eat claypot la!'

'Cause winning means 'Jackpot', and thus losing is 'Claypot' WTFFF, hahahha!

So he ended up drinking soup with white rice while the rest of us had claypot rice. And refused to take even a small bite of my claypot rice no matter how much I tempted him.

And when he lost the bet (he had his money for Argentina and Korea to draw), he blamed it for not seeing the OMEN that he has suggested to eat CLAYPOT rice today. Hahahah damn superstitious!

And they call women irrational. ;)


Last Friday's work outfit 'cause IT'S FRIDAY TOMORROW! :D

Dust pink lace mini dress (worn as top): Velvet Ribbon
Black high waisted skirt: Supre, Australia
Pale pink faux pearl necklace: Topshop
Black velvet shoes with silver exposed zipper-trimmed bows: Singapore

I am delirious with joy not only because it's the weekend. It's also one day away from Jing's return!!!! :)))) Teeny will be back the following week... My best friend is officially a doctor and is back in KL till she gets a job... Jaclyn will be back as well in early July... :D

I just can't wait to be reunited with people who love me. God knows the past 6 months haven't been easy.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Bang bang, I shot you down.

With trepidation, I aimed the pointer at me. My hands trembled; I caught a breathe, as my fingers hesitated. I was afraid of what's ahead of me. But not any longer. 'Cause I couldn't take living like this anymore. I closed my eyes, and pulled the trigger.....

.... and a gush of hot air blew out, and I started blow-drying my hair.

Haha, I just bought myself a hairdryer! My new hairdo requires some sort of styling, which is totally against my principles wtf. I am pretty low-maintenance when it comes to hair, and all my previous hairstyles were always wash-and-go styles! Just the way I like it. I dislike blowdrying 'cause firstly, it is obviously damaging to the hair; and secondly, I have really thick hair, so it takes me ages to blowdry my hair! All hairstylists look at my hair in fear when I step into a salon. -_- And I always get charged the maximum rate on whatever that I do to my hair-- whether it's a wash, blow or treatment. T_T Whenever I visit Yen (my hairstylist), there is this designated assistant to wash/blow my hair, and Yen jokes that the assistant has built up arm muscles from blowdrying my hair (when Yen told me this, the assistant was nodding in the background, so I half-suspect it wasn't a joke... *trails off*). And whenever I walk into the shop, the assistant will quickly run out to buy lunch (I usually visit in the late morning or afternoon), because according to her: 1. she needs the energy to wash/blow my hair; and 2. once she starts doing my hair, she doesn't know when her next meal is. -______-

Note: Yen styles my hair (i.e. she cuts it), all other tasks are handled by her assistants!

Anyway, all that drama for blowdying my hair is because me avoiding any hair 'frills' has left me being pretty much a noob in the subject of hair-styling. I even bought a roller hairbrush from Vidal Sassoon, and checked with Teeny incessantly beforehand on tips to style my hair. My aim was to make my hair puffy and slightly blown-in like... like.. a Japanese, hehe. That was the way my hair was supposed to be styled when Yen cut it, but obviously she forgot that I really am an imbecile when it comes to hair. T_T

To cut the story short, I failed! I tried blowing my ends in, and they remained poker straight. So I gave up (after one try *shifty eyes*), and have now settled for straight albeit slight puffy hair. Hair will grow, hair will grow.

Another work outfit picture 'cause they appear to be well-received (chehhhh like real :P)!

Wore this last Thursday.
(Btw, this is how my hair looks like without any form of styling!)

And since I had drinks on the same night...

It only made sense that my outfit had a little bit of vava-voom. :P

To cover-up during the day, I had a sheer wrap-around top on. ;)

Black satin bustier top with bow-back: Stolen from Jing
Black skirt: Zara
Black sheer wrap-wround top with puffed sleeves: Bardot, Australia
Necklace with black enamel camelia pendant with faux pearl: Zhuhai
Black velvet shoes with silver exposed zipper-trimmed bows: Singapore

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Burnt to a crisp.

More happy-clappy pictures from Bintan. :)

Cosy, welcoming lobby. :)

We stayed at Bintan Lagoon Resort, which comes with a big thumbs-up! We rented a villa, since there were the 8 of us, and the resort looks way way better than I could have imagined! The last time I went to Bintan on a department trip, we stayed at some shoddy apartment which looks like a flat at best. But Bintan Lagoon 's villas are just AWESOME-- Bali-nese inspired, fully-equipped with everything that you could possibly need, comes with your own buggy, and even a private pool, if you choose the most expensive villa.

Mad love!

The girls on the trip. :)

Group picture for dinner! Picture looks grainy 'cause we were waiting for a table for the BBQ seafood buffet-- very smoky!

Night time could only mean ALCO TIME!

We played Circle of Death with lots of ridiculous rules and drinking games which requires coordination or alertness-- both which I failed miserably, hahaha. When we were all tipsy and high, we decided to go swimming. We didn't go for the most expensive villa, so we decided to crash an unoccupied villa with a private pool! :P Giggling mischievously, we all changed into our bathing suits, and clambered onto our buggy, trying to be quiet while we drove along the 'neighbourhood' looking for an unoccupied villa (telltale signs: complete darkness).

Eventually we found a corner villa which faces the sea, and happily jumped into the pool! We spend about 2 hours talking nonsense and stifling our laughter... Before we got caught, eff our lives, hahaha. The security makes roundings (on a buggy!) during the night, and as the villas have an open concept, they could see us splashing in the pool, boo. They came to ask us to leave, and we just acted innocent and pretended that we didn't know we are not supposed to simply barge into empty villas and use their pools, HAHAHA.

We ended the night with cup noodles and hot steaming TWG tea (one of my colleagues only drink 'atas' (i.e. high class) tea. He also only eats Crabtree and Evelyn cookies -_-) before adjourning to bed. By then it was already 5-ish am. -_-

Woke up at about 11 pm the next day, being awaken by one of my colleagues who tickled my feet. (My feet is my Achilles heel! T_T) The rest of the girls have already gone for the buffet breakfast-- which I rejected 'cause they only left at 10.20am; the buffet breakfast ends at 10.30am. -_- Had Oreos and muffins which the girls stole from the breakfast (they managed to get, hurrah!) and TWG tea again. Got cheated by my colleague to dunk my Oreo in the tea ("Really! It's very nice! Nicer than dunking in milk!") and got laughed at when I follow suit. -_-

Then it was beach time!

But it was going to rain. :(

And it really did. :((((

So we just sat under the shade and watched the boys play soccer with some of the workers at the resort.

The goal!
Super emo right this picture, haha.

Nah, make-up less picture of me! Thank god for my pareo, we were chilled to the bones! :(

But then the dark clouds started to pass.... :)

WT riding a whatchamcallit! Reminds me of Tom Cruise in Top Gun, haha.


Time to get wet! :D

The lounge area from far. Gorgeous place, with wooden planks, high chairs, orchids and cocktails! Wish we had the chance to spend some time there.

Toothy grin.

How do you feel stressed when you are faced with views like that? :)


We went kayaking!

That's me on the blue kayak, sitting behind.

Both N and I have never kayak-ed before in our lives, rendering it a very bad move for us to partner together. -_- We couldn't coordinate our movements, and we ended up going in circles. T__T In the end, one of my guy colleagues had to come save us, by replacing N, and partnering with me instead. *damsel in distress* After a while, we got bored of kayaking (or rather I got tired wtf), and we kayak-ed next to each other, and tied these safety belt thingies on the kayaks together so that all three of our kayaks are joint together, and we just lied down and chill. ;) Our remedy to the sun was to take the oar to cover our face, and just bobbed on the sea... Bliss, I am telling you.

However, that left me with what my colleague and I called the 'loser tan', ahhaha. My face and my body is fair ('cause I had a life jacket on), but my arms and legs are tanned! FML.

After awhile we decided to kayak again, and as a prank, my guy colleague forced me into a kayak for a single person to test whether I am able to kayak. T_____________T I was forced to kayak by myself all the way to the shore. T______T

This is me looking very very grumpy having to row myself back.

Very very cute picture of WT!

My retard partner at work.

I think it was the longest I have spent on the each... At least 6 hours?
Of bliss. :)

Friday, June 11, 2010

Jewels in the sky.

I am addicted to Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook now!
Have always been a big fan of Bejweled, god knows that was how I passed time during my internship: tapping furiously at my laptop looking very very very busy when I was actually trying to align colorful gems in a row of threes, hehe.

But now, it is a full-fledge WAR! I am constantly trying to top my colleague's top score, and vice versa. We trash talk each other in office while we try to play discreetly WTF, and send each other taunting emails when one scores higher than the other hahaha. -__-

Disclaimer: We only play the games after office hour, so it doesn't affect our productivity ok!

He currently has >300K of points, HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE. My highest was 100-over K only. *loser* Anyone got tips or not! wtf

Working woman who plays Bejeweled at work (after work wtf):

Champagne-colored round-neck satin top: Bysi, Singapore
Black (cropped) pants: Zara
Dust pink floral corsage: Diva
Shoes (not shown): Cream heels with black wingtips and bows

Cropped pants 'cause normal Zara long pants are too long for me! Whereas their cropped pants are just the right length. -___- That gives you a pretty good idea of how long my legs are, fml.

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Shortie, through and through.

Brace yourself.

Not only am I short in height, now I will have to face the truth that I have short-ish hair!


I know it's not short SHORT, say, like a bob, but for a girl who has had hair reaching to her waist... and did not expect to go so short, this is short SHORT!

I was all prepared for a change, 'cause frankly speaking, I was a little bored of having long straight dark hair, and my haircut was getting quite out of shape. Plus, going to bintan (sea water + lots of chlorine) has rendered my hair super unmanageable (think dry branches wtf), which only strengthened my resolve to do something to my hair.

Y'know, along the lines of a trim and maybe a dye job.

Then Yen told me that she will be cutting it to my armpit level, which is something I could live with. Little did I know that the next time I looked into the mirror my hair was shoulder-length. T_T Darn you, June issue of Cleo.

I was dreading going to work, 'cause my guy colleagues are ruthless when it comes to my appearance wtf. But they all said that my new hairstyle looks better! Looks more fresh, according to them. They even asked me whether my ex has seen the new hair 'cause it will make him regret WTF. -___-

True friends. *teary eyes*

Anyway, I guess I should be happy! 'Cause guys' opinion matter more WTF. As in I am very sure girls will just come up to me and tell me that my haircut looks great 'cause girls are just diplomatic (and for some, two-headed) like that. And girls have a higher threshold of funkiness and change! I for one, always prefer it when my girlfriends go short, because I feel that they look so much fresher and sharper in their new hairdo.

(Btw, I did a quiz at the hair salon-- "Are you a man's woman or a girl's girl", and apparently I am my own woman wtf)

It's currently Day 2 of me with my new hair, and I guess it's starting to grow on me. Though I still go through hyperventilation episodes sometimes when I look into the mirror and see my hair wtf. The only thing is, I have to lose weight to accommodate the new haircut, 'cause I can no longer hide (my fats) behind my hair. -_-

And something I haven't done in a long time, outfit picture of today! :)

Mint green top with bows: Tea & Sympathy
Black knee-length skirt: Zara
Pearl bracelet: Diva
Green patent wedges (not shown): Target, Australia

Monday, June 07, 2010

Panic attack.

Hair will grow... Hair will grow... *breathes in breathes out*

Thursday, June 03, 2010

Pat on the back.

Newly promoted. ;)