Monday, March 18, 2013

Open.

I am one of the most forthright people that I know.

There I said it. Straightforward, frank, doesn't mince her words... That's me.

I had the chance to reflect on how I dealt with a situation recently, and it was a getting-to-know-myself session all over again. I am really open with everything, and I will be okay talking to you about anything, even on things like pubic hair, masturbation or socially frowned-on topics like salaries-- provided it doesn't involve someone that I know who will not be comfortable with the info disclosed. In fact, I was even more straightforward when I was younger, but with age (and also with having a publicly read blog that sometimes may involve certain parties), I am a lot more careful with the information that I share.

Nonetheless, I will still consider myself to be a really, really open person.

When I was in Form 1, I sat next to a girl who did not shave her underarm hair, and it caused her to have BO. Everyone knew it, and made fun of her behind her back. She was often mocked, but she didn't understand why. Now, she wasn't my best friend, but I was reasonably close to her, and I didn't really like how there were all these mocking whispers around her, so I decided to take matters into my own hands. I confronted her. I told her upfront that I wasn't being malicious, but I was curious as to why didn't she shave her armpits, because most girls at our age have already started doing so. It turned out that her mom has never told her or taught her to do so, and being the only girl in the family, she just wasn't exposed to such information. So after that, we shared information on the best way to do so (shaving? tweezing? epilating? waxing?), and she started doing it. No one made fun of her after that. We also became closer.

I guess one of the reasons why I can be extremely forthright is because I am blessed to be quite an empathetic person. Generally, I am able to put myself in the person's shoes, and hence be able to be frank in a tactful way. I just think we have everything to gain to be honest (tactfully, of course)!

Sometimes girl cliques give me quite a headache, because there are always so much underlying gossip and rumors, but no one actually confronts each other. A real-life example that happened not too long ago: I have a friend, A, who was pissed off at B. I kept on urging A to go clear the air with B, because I felt that B probably didn't realize she has upset A, and in any case, I am quite sure she didn't mean to. But A refused to speak to B, and instead, she got really spiteful and started planning revenge. -__- So B ended up really hurt and bewildered why A was treating her like that. -___- And it would have been so simple if only they both just TALKED to each other! (it's a headache enough trying to explain the A and B situation -____-)

That's why I am really thankful that I am quite manly when it comes to matter likes this-- If you have a problem, just solve it! If I have a problem with you, I will most definitely come to you, and talk to you about it. If I feel that you have a problem with me, I will do the same too. It's just better to have things out in the open.

It's the same with 'taboo' subjects, I just can't stand girls who giggle at the word 'penis' or gasp when you talk about sex. The more you try to avoid it and keep it taboo, the more awkward the subject becomes for you! It is when you bring it out to the clear, that you realize that it's just like any daily topic.

The only person I am NOT manly with is my boyfriend WTF. With him, Yes still means No, No means Yes, and Maybe means No. HAHAHAHHA. Just kidding lar! I guess when I was younger, I was a bit like that, but now that I am older, I learned that it's much easier to be straightforward with men too. 'Cause they really have no clue wan. -__- Haha.

Anyway, my point is, be open with yourself/ your friends/ family the next time! Life is filled with ups and downs and non-stop drama as it is, let's not add more guesswork and drama into it. Be honest (ahem), and let me know what you guys think? :)

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6 comments:

Zan Li said...

I concur! I am all about being honest and open about things and with people. And, of course we must try our best to handle people with care and tact if we have something to tell or warn them about:)

Anonymous said...

yah, some girls are just born to be drama queens. Loves to gossip, and create rumours but when the subject of the gossip confronts them, they don't dare to say anything. Think this situation is pretty common! :)

revel in me said...

zan li: Agreed! :)


anonymous: I generally try to stay away from this type of people! Too much negative vibes. :/

hw said...

awesome and very interesting read! *thumbs up* for being so frank.

Anonymous said...

why is the makeup post missing??? :(

revel in me said...

hw: Yay thank you! :D Sometimes I think I am TOO frank. *droops head*


anonymous: Temporarily took it down as I will be giving out some vouchers to my readers, but need to finalize some details on that! :)