I was missing from my blog before this as I was caught up with work (audit is due T_T), as well as busy with wedding stuff. There were a couple of last-minute things that cropped up which sent me scrambling for remedies. For example, suddenly we need to find a sound system. Before this we have checked that the venue has one, but recently we found out that it's from the dinosaur ages-- when we actually need something that we can plug and play from Itunes! T_T Also, the venue is only providing 50 chairs when we have about 100 guests. I half-contemplated letting some of the guests to stand wtf, since the ceremony won't take long anyway. However, the boy is really against letting our guests stand. Plus, I googled "Is it okay to let guests stand during wedding ceremony", and all results said NO wtf. So I had to start searching for chair rentals haih.
Then the biggest fuck-up happened. I went for my wedding dress fitting, and I was expecting that the worst thing to happen is that I would look fat in the dress or something. But no. As my luck would have it, my dress was not what I envisioned due to a miscommunication between me and the designer!! T_____T And there is no way to change the dress, we have to REMAKE one. With 2 weeks to go!!! I think my wedding dress designer and I were both shitting in our pants wtf. Thank god, I have the most talented designer ever, and I have been going for fittings every other days for the new dress!! Fingers crossed that it will turn out ok.
Just when I thought things can't get any worse, suddenly Teeny told me that she doesn't want to wear her bridesmaid dress anymore. -_- I was really freaking out at this point, 'cause it was one too many things that have gone wrong.
When I was stressed out, everyone told me to not worry, that everything will turn out fine. And to a large extent, I know that it is true! To be honest, I am more stressed out over work stuff than the wedding. 'Cause I can't focus my attention onto the wedding till I settle my work, and I guess that was what that was stressing me.
While trying to take a deep breath doing all the wedding problem-solving, I really took a step back to reflect the entire wedding-planning process. And I feel like sharing them here, 'cause I know I will enjoy reflecting over it in the future.
Let's start from the very beginning ok? :)
The boy proposed to me last year, and if everything went to plan, we would have probably gotten married at the end of this year. Alas, things never go according to plan, do they? The boy's mom passed away middle of last year, and due to traditions, we were required to wait for 2 years before the wedding. However, 2 years is a long time, and if there's something that we have learned from the past year, it's that life is short and full of unpredictability. Also, my grandparents are getting older (they are 85 this year), and I know they are quite excited for my wedding (I am the first grandchild in the family to get married). In the end, we decided that we will get registered this year, and have our tea ceremony and wedding reception next year.
Now, truth to be told, if it was up to the boy, we will just sign in the registration office and call it a day. However, I was quite adamant to not get registered in the office. There's something about it that seems so sterile and cold. T_T And personally, I feel that the vow-exchange and registration symbolizes the actual union between us, so I really wanted something special to remember the day by. Also, it will make my grandparents very happy to have a small celebration. So we decided to have a small, intimate wedding ceremony this year. :)
I was really excited to start planning for the ceremony! To me, it was equivalent to our wedding day, the day of our union. I guess this is when some misunderstanding started to arise, as some friends started asking us why are they not invited FOL. Also, when some people find out that it's just the wedding ceremony, or the ROM, they go, "Chehhhh". Which is fine, 'cause I understand that to most Malaysian couples, the wedding is equivalent to the wedding dinner/ reception. The ROM is just a procedure to get to the wedding dinner.
But I guess I am different. The wedding to me, is standing in front of some of our dearest and most-loved ones, exchanging our vows, and officially becoming husband and wife. Tthe reception or dinner, on the other hand, is more of a party to celebrate that union. Also, I can't say I am particularly excited about being at a dinner where I don't know half of the people wtf. And ALL of my married friends told me that the ceremony is the most personal part of the wedding, it's the part where it's truly about the couple and noone else. :)
And I really wanted our wedding to be a reflection of our personality and styles! So although I have never given any thought to my wedding day before this, suddenly I found myself having very strong opinions about the wedding day wtf. I still remember telling the boy that "to our guests, it's just one of the weddings that they will attend in their lives, but to us, it's the only wedding we will ever have".
One of the first things I bought for the wedding was my bridesmaid dresses. I intended to have my sisters as my bridesmaids, and whilst part of me did toy with the idea of having the boy's sister as my bridesmaid as well, I quickly pushed the idea out of my head. I wanted my bridesmaids to wear pink, and she couldn't as she is in mourning. I got pink dresses for my sisters with matching pink floral crowns, though the thought that I should have my future sister-in-law as my bridesmaid still came back to disturb me from time to time.
As I delved deeper into wedding-planning though, my perspective started to change. Yes, our wedding is about us becoming husband and wife, but it is special because we are doing it in front of the people we love. We have guest who are traveling from Singapore, New Zealand, Australia, to name a few. We have guests who are purposely driving down from the North at 5am as they can't take leave. It dawned on me that our wedding is also about the people we love, and it's also about the union of two families.
So I did what I knew was the right thing all along. I scraped my original bridesmaid dresses, and asked my future sister-in-law to be my bridesmaid too. I wanted her to know that she is my sister too. :) I asked each of them to pick their own dresses in a pastel color of their choice. I consulted with the boy on the food/ drinks that his relatives will consume, I checked with my dad on the relatives/ friends he want at the wedding. It's no longer a day about the both of us, it's a day for all of us. :)
Also, recently, one of his cousins lost her husband to dengue. It was so sudden, and extremely devastating. They are newly married for about 1-2 years, and it happening so close to our wedding only reminded me that ultimately, what's important is that we are getting married to each other, not the color of my sister's dress or whether or not I get the flowers I want.
Now that we are down to the last week... I really want to enjoy this last precious days of wedding planning! It honestly has been a really fun process even with some unexpected glitches. I am not going to lose focus of the end goal, which is to officially become a Mrs! :P